Preparation Makes Life and Death
Events Easier to Bear
DEAR
ABBY: In a recent column I noted the comments of a reader and your
response concerning the need to have a will and a living will. As an elder
law attorney, I feel strongly that my clients should have two ADDITIONAL
documents in place: a health care proxy and a durable power of attorney.
I have, in my practice of the last 25 years, concluded that the single
most important document a client can have is a durable power of attorney.
Many of the issues that were raised in your reader’s letter could be
addressed if someone had a power of attorney. This document, like the others,
can be as broad or as narrow as the individual giving the power of attorney
wishes. It is not a relinquishing of authority, but rather a granting of
parallel authority, and can easily be revoked.
In a similar
fashion, a health care proxy provides the opportunity for someone to interact
with health care providers should the incapacitated individual be unable
to make his/her own decisions.
-
Lawrence S. Graham, Greenville, NC
DEAR LAWRENCE: Thank you for educating my readers – and
me – about these documents. Read on:
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DEAR
ABBY: Please remind your readers that a living will is not only
very important, but a person should also carry a copy while traveling. My
husband and I have “prepacked” copies of our living wills in
our suitcase so they are always available. Imagine being thousands of miles
from home when a crisis arises and those important documents are desperately
needed.
- Anne M., Alexandria, VA
DEAR ANNE: That’s an interesting idea. It never
hurts to be prepared.
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DEAR ABBY: I read with interest your response to the gentleman
who was trying to convince family and friends to complete a living will before
they need one. As a nurse for many years, I concur wholeheartedly. No one
wakes up in the morning planning to have an accident, or a heart attack,
or some other life-threatening condition. Too many times, doctors and nurses
are faced with a family divided on what they ‘think’ our patient
would want – or not want. Combine this with the shock and grief these
people are experiencing, and the situation becomes volatile.
- Former Surgical Nurse, Virginia Beach, VA
DEAR FORMER NURSE: Thank you for speaking from the perspective
of someone who has been in the trenches and seen it firsthand.
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DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading your comments to “Concerned
Friend.” They come on the heels of my recent experience of the last
two weeks. My apparently healthy husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer
three weeks ago. I have spent a harrowing 10 days trying to get all the necessary
documents drafted and finalized. I needed the services of an attorney to
make sure all the paperwork was done correctly.
I have also discovered that
our finances are a mess. This was always my husband’s
job, and I trusted what he said. He had been feeling tired in the last few
months, but assured me that he had taken care of all the bills. Well, he
hadn’t. Fixing this is another nightmare yet to come.
My advice to
your readers: Listen to Dear Abby.
By the way, my husband is only 56. We never thought things would be this
way.
- Grieving in Sacramento, Calif.
DEAR GRIEVING: When I called you to discuss your letter,
I was shocked to learn that your husband had already died. Please accept
my deepest sympathy for your loss. If your experience doesn’t galvanize
people to action, nothing will.
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